Genetics & Acceptance

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
– The Dalai Lama

Passed down for generations

Studying Autism for Quincy has exposed the Neurodiversity throughout my family tree. I’ve had undiagnosed Autistic struggles my whole life: Meltdowns, Hyper focus, Elopement, Executive Dysfunction, Suicidal thoughts. Quincy’s mother is “Selective Mute”. She didn’t talk until she was 9, but she understood language. Quincy’s sister had delayed language development but is brilliant, successful, and exhibits traits of a High Functioning Autistic. My father and grandfather also exhibit meltdowns and Autistic behavior. My grandmother had Alzheimer’s. Quincy’s cousin on his Mother’s side has Down Syndrome. The list goes on.

At 3 years old, we tested Quincy for Toxins. The Doctor said his blood was the least toxic he’d ever tested. There were no signs of leaky gut. Autism is often blamed on toxic vaccinations, but Quincy was a home birth and never received any vaccinations or immunizations. He’s only been fed Natural and Organic food. I’m convinced it’s genetic.

We also tend to seek out friends and romantic partners who we feel comfortable with. So they tend to be Neurodiverse too, continuing this genetic pool for generations.

MTHFR gene mutations

The MTHFR gene mutation is a common thread in Genetic Disorders like Autism, Down Syndrome, and Alzheimer’s, plus Asthma and digestive issues. All of which are found in Quincy’s family tree. This gene mutation is inherited from your parents and cannot be reversed. Lean More

This is another reason why I push acceptance, love, and support. I’m offended by the “fix it” mentality in the Autism industry, selling “snake oil” cures, praying on a parent’s fear of not doing enough. I strive to be as healthy as possible, but having a Neurodiverse brain is for life. The sooner you can accept your limitations the better, then can you design your unique path to thrive.

You do not grow out of Autism, you can only learn to navigate life with it. Develop strategies and set boundaries. Stress reduction is the #1 goal, because having a Neurodiverse brain is very draining. Seek out love and joy and balance. Find a Neurodiverse community to feel less alone. Remove expectations and demands. Accept the fact that there are many ways to live human life. There are no rules, except compassion. As long as your actions don’t hurt anybody, you’re doing just fine.

Neurodiverse or Neurotypical, we are all different

Multitasking puts a strain on Autistic brains, it’s easier for them to stay in one brain center. So while in conversation, they often struggle to listen to you and make eye contact at the same time. Often a Neurodiverse person will look away and point their ear towards you instead. Please do not force them to look at you. There are many misunderstandings and false expectations when a Neurotypical and a Neurodiverse interact. Much of what we’ve been taught from Neurotypical society does not apply.

Quincy communicates through objects. He teaches me what they mean. I follow his lead to limit his meltdowns. For example, putting his pants on means he wants to leave the house, taking them off means he is staying home. He can get easily confused and triggered.

Accept that drastic differences exist. Just because someone doesn’t look disabled, doesn’t mean that they are not. Ignoring Disability, even wrapped in hope, is one of the worst things you can do for those in need of support and understanding. Try to understand their truth and be the warmth and acceptance they require.