“Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.“
– Franz Kafka
Underdeveloped “Language Center”
Before Quincy was 2 years old, His brain stopped developing typically. Yes, time passes and he is influenced by life daily, but it’s still filtered through the limitations of a 2 year old’s mind. The area of the brain that handles his “Language Center” never fully developed, nor did his “Sense of Self”.
Without a developed Language Center he cannot categorize his life experience like we do. Quincy memorizes his world like a Blind person. In a new environment, he creates a mental picture of the room and then he verifies those pictures every time he returns. Scanning the room for changes. Opening drawers and cabinets. The only place he doesn’t do that is at home.
To feel at peace, Quincy must compare what’s in his mind with his previous recorded images. He has to SEE everything.
We take for granted how much we categorize our memories through our words and inner self-dialog. Quincy exists much more in the present moment, constantly experiencing life as it comes. Stimming vocally, twirling things, setting up reflections of objects in the windows.
Just try to remember yourself as a 1 year old. I can see a very limited flash of images. But before having language, I didn’t have a place to store what I saw. My memories became clearer as my language developed.
I encourage everyone to to speak to Quincy as if he understands everything. Please speak to him just as you would to anyone else. But please accept him as he is. Have less expectations for his responses. Words help us clarify our intentions, and it’s the intentions that he understands. Actually, most of what he understands, could also be expressed using Quincy Language, with grunts and hand gestures. He understands that just as well. I use both.
Yes, the brain has Neuroplasticity, it can grow and develop. But please understand Quincy’s disability is in written his DNA. This is how he is meant to walk the planet. His is a different breed of human. His brain grows different.
If you are hoping he’ll start speaking or act “normal”, that is not helpful. Hope can be very damaging. Hope does not exist without fear. Instead, I ask you to cultivate acceptance, love, and support. Love him exactly as he is right now. Trust this is how he is meant to be. Show him respect. Try out his communication style, while you show him yours.
And just as you would not expect a Blind person to see, if they just “try harder”. Please do not expect Quincy’s brain to function like a Neurotypical brain, if he’d just “try harder”. He’ll always need support and acceptance.
According to Stanford Medicine, Quincy’s language center stopped developing before 11 months old. He is now 11 years old. Please speak to him normally, but expect his language comprehension to be of a 2 year old or younger. He also has to “see to believe” everything, words alone will not suffice.
No “Sense of Self”
By 2 years old, a child is usually developing a growing self-awareness. This is also lacking in Quincy’s brain development. Without a sense of self, it is extremely difficult to differentiate between his own emotions and the emotions of others. This explains why Quincy is extremely sensitive to other people. Especially other children. If they cry, he cries. It completely overwhelms him. He is easily overloaded by others. Especially if they put demands on him.
This makes being in any classroom or social environment, very stressful for him. He is always on high alert, confused, and overwhelmed.
Communication with Quincy is almost a form of telepathy. Nonverbal, but through emotions and intentions. Body language, but also with a deliberate grunt or object. He makes a lot of vocal sounds while he stims for pleasure, but not for communication. I think he sees us that way too. We make a bunch of sound talking, but he doesn’t understand the subtext, just a few words. It’s truly what’s beneath that counts. Quincy loves a good hug.
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